Custodian of time

My world is smaller now

I squandered its early years a bandit

And now a custodian of time

Bound in these rusty rugged walls

With sketched names and obscenity

Lives etched on concrete

Legacies living within four walls and bars

Their names didn’t outlive this hell

And neither shall mine

Eternal solitude my perpetual condemnation

I am a goner to the world I knew

I am a goner to the lush forest of home

I am a goner to all that is beauty and warmth

Days and nights passing before my eyes

In this foul stench of lost souls and regret

And I fade into myself

And further, deeper still into my fears

Into the pale ashes that are my hopes

The dimming embers of life

And I am met by my most vile soul

A barren land of nothingness

Starring back at me with those glassy eyes

The reflection of my lost youth in them,

Shattering under my wicked wretchedness.

And I am blind to the future

Blind to mercy and redemption

Feeling all the vastness of the dark

Searching for any past divinity for sanity,

When freedom was and care none

To the little moments I gave no thought,

To the old lady watering her garden,

To the little girls running along  the street

Ducks rushing across the ponds,

And Music, O sweet music,

Of the old man’s dented guitar

I hum his tunes now yet dropped him no coin,

I hum his tunes now and waste my days away.


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